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Ready the Coop-guns. Fearless Leader Swindle is holed up all week in an undisclosed island-y location, recovering from an arduous season of being paid to write about college football and cheering his alma mater to a national title, its second in three years. (The poor bastard.) You're in my hands for the duration. (You poor bastards.) In Orson's absence, tips and links are welcome at the GMail address, wolfbearclownshark. To reward your loyal service, a little ditty sure to banish the Kiffykins anthem (I can't be the only one still hearing it): (The only catch: Now it's stuck. Quickly! To the Daft Punk atrium!) L'affaire Kiffykins, part eleventeen in an infinite series. Tennessee racks up its third straight itty-bitty-ole recruiting violation under the Lanelet's reign. A week ago, we may have sighed, rolled our eyes, and resumed knitting that orange-and-white checkerboard cozy for our iced tea maker, but emboldened by our new marching orders, we say ONE VIOLATION FOR EVERY FIRST QUARTER TOUCHDOWN WE SCORE ON ALABAMA SON HOME SWEET HOME TO MAAAAAAAAAY [runs around in circles, passes out] Wanted: "It" new video game to fill void left by decreasing utility of Rock Band jokes. Georgia LB Marcus Washington simultaneously sprains both wrists while lifting. Takeaway quote: "When asked if that was a common injury, he couldnt help but laugh. Nope, he said." Just typing here to have some bold text in front of it because nothing could improve upon this quote OK go: "Surprisingly, another thing that helped in Wood's development was head coach Bobby Petrino's resignation after his sophomore season." And Bill Callahan is sorry he hit you, baby, but if you could just hear him out (and quit burning dinner)... Cupid is a Husker Fan!
Festival of love, my ass---nothing chills to the core faster than the thought of Little Red armed and given the power of flight. |
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