CURIOUS INDEX, 2/10/2009

We differ philosophically. Cincinnati's defensive coordinator Joe Tresey will be leaving the Bearcats due to a difference of philosophies with head coach Brian Kelly, which could mean zillions of fun things. The Cincy Enquirer posits that Kelly wants to switch to a 3-4, a sure sign that he is a sizist, hates our beloved fat interior linemen, and wants as few of them on the field as possible.

Less welcome in Cincy than they used to be, but shine on anyway, you chunky diamond, you.

DASSA NOT A SMOKEAMACHEEN. It was the Orgeron's smoker at full blast, pumping the scent of freshly roasted whole alligator through the tunnels at Neyland. Unfortunately, it counts as a secondary violation along with a mock press conference conducted for recruits, and was self-reported by Tennessee to the NCAA this week. "Okay, recruit. What's it like to play for someone as hot as coach Lane Kiffin, huh?" "Um, coach Kiffin, I'm not comfortable with this question." "I'M NOT COACH KIFFIN, I'M HOLLY ROWE AND YOU WILL ANSWER IT."

The Raiders? Really? No more damning statement about the status of Washington football may be found right now than this: the Huskies just lost their offensive coordinator of two months to the Oakland Raiders.

Grrrrrrecession. Florida AD Jeremy Foley won't be raising prices for football tickets next season following a national championship. YAY. He's also looking to see where cuts can be made in the $85 million budget. BOO? Boo. According to Foley, "you can't cut back on light bills," but we beg to differ. Nike. Glow in the dark unis. Blackout. Make it happen, sirs, and we will redefine homefield advantage. (And security issues.)

Extreme. And premature, but that's column-ing!