clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

THAT'S PROFESSOR TRESSEL TO YOU

New, 15 comments

tresselundies

From your offseason "Has Jim Tressel Lost His Ability To Swing It Like A New Jack" article of the year, please see this intriguing detail from his contract:

Tressel, 56, continually swats aside questions about how long he’ll coach. Yet his new contract—which goes through the 2012 season—has an interesting addition: If he decides to retire, the university can keep him on as a professor for up to five years.

Like Woody Hayes before him, he would be "Professor Tressel." Oh, the possibilities.

--"Michigan Real Estate: Owning It And How To Keep It for Half-Decades At A Time."

--"Menswear for Caucasians: Theory and Practice."

--"Don't Call It A Quagmire: American Victories In Vietnam"

--"Coach Tress's Gymnastics for Late Bloomers."

--"Handling Radioactive Materials Safely and Easily With Everyday Objects Found In Your Home and Office."

--"Paradise Lost: Herbert Hoover's America."

--"Special Seminar on Pyongyang: Come for the Women, Stay for the Women"

In quasi-related news, Professor Tressel is doing swimmingly on the recruiting trail, and may bring in the number one recruiting class if Ramgod dictates that Rueben Randle goes somewhere else other than LSU. Ohio State has 16 four star recruits, with an emphasis on getting game-breakers at the edge like Duron Carter, who has speed to burn according to Scout.com!

He's not a burner, though, and won't make many guys miss.

Or not! To be fair, James Jackson is in there, too, though, a 4.31 guy as clocked by the obligatorily generous stopwatch guy who inhabits all recruiting boards slashing tenths off seconds. Also, Carter is a legacy, as he is the son of Cris Carter, who will now stalk the Ohio State sidelines berating Jim Tressel on-camera anytime his son is not on the field for any reason. BUT HE'S WORKING ON THE SPEED THING, CITIZENS OF UZBUCKISTAN. And that is your lesson for the day.