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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/29/2009

DO YOU LIKE SEXY MAC-TION. Of course you do, which is why you're dancing a bright, sunny jig in your cubicle now that you know the MAC just signed a new deal with ESPN. The MAC will get 25 events broadcast on an ESPN channel as part of the deal, with the network getting the choice on the split between sports. Senator Blutarsky suggests this means Pam Ward has a guaranteed job this year, but pause, sir: you can have the 12:00 third-tier Big Ten matchup when you pry it from her cold, dead hands.

I killed to get here, and I'll kill to stay, motherfucker.

GIGGITY BURN. A small but factual stab from Tom Dienhart's profile of a day recruiting with Houston Nutt:

"We inherited some good players, but there are holes in the roster that will start to show up because many of the players signed by the previous staff haven't remained in school here."

The Orgeron heard you. And as soon as he puts Lane Kiffin to bed and gets Monte his hot toddy, he's coming with a sack full of cinder blocks for you.

Belle Glade's a hard place. Santonio Holmes, Belle Glade football notable, Pittsburgh Steeler, and aspiring porn star, admits to selling drugs while playing football in Belle Glade. It's easier than catching rabbits, and certainly more lucrative. The other ways of making money in Belle Glade, that's it. You can catch rabbits, sell drugs, or work in the cane fields. We'd sell drugs, too.

Alabama r smrt. 22 Crimson Tide players made the SEC Academic Honor Roll. Jim Delany! That's the punchline.

Eating cheese crackers and growing pine trees. Jack Youngblood, Florida great who played a Super Bowl on a broken leg for the Rams, is getting old, growing pine trees, and sometimes eats cheese crackers. Offseason giveaway number 2843: you link to profile pieces containing little or no information about old guys working at ethanol companie.