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MICHIGAN: GERG'D

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Greg "GERG" Robinson will be the new defensive coordinator for the University of Michigan. Greg Robinson is not a pseudonym, and in fact is a name referring to the man who in four seasons cratered the Syracuse football program in a most crater-y craterous fashion. The same Greg Robinson who craved five for five like anyone else would.

This news may have Michigan fans leaping headfirst off swingsets, but pause: Robinson oversaw good defenses with the shiny, many-starred talent Texas had in 2004. He did not screw this up, and then got a job at Syracuse that he failed at, and then failed again, and then put the whole enchilada in a savory crepe of double fail and deep-fried it in a rich fondue-like mixture of misery, incompetence, and le fail.

This points clearly to the man being a football functionary who, when promoted to the level of his incompetence, lived up to that incompetence to the fullest, and has now bumped back down to his maximum efficient level of performance: assistant. He has good talent, and will put it in the right places most likely, and it will all be passable. This is not what Michigan fans would like to hear, but sometimes life gives you Mehggcellence when you want the top-shelf stuff. With recruiting season is barreling down on Michigan like Steven Hawking on ski holiday, though, it may be time to plug a gridiron bureaucrat in a hole and watch him attain "good" until someone else comes along.

(Firing him won't be painful: it's done been done befo'. Like fiftyleven times, mayun.)