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But Jim! How could you! Africa loves you! And exports a lot of things besides AIDS: oil, dictators, refugees, valuable minerals usually torn straight from the ground, tasty Afrofunk, art, textiles, starters for the United States' soccer team, Bobaraba, Omar Sharif...the list goes on and on, sir!

Perhaps you just need to immerse yourself in the charms of its people while recuperating from shoulder surgery. We're sure a bit of post-grad study abroad--a Grand Tour as a gentleman should have--would have you dancing merrily in an more Afrophilic manner shortly.

Jim Tartt, seen here after his impending grand tour of Africa. Freek, of course.