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...the man who will eventually be Auburn's next head coach, Patrick Nix. He is undoubtedly one of the foremost minds in college football, and a young gem of a coach Auburn can lock up before he becomes to expensive and coveted to nab at bargain prices. He is an outstanding developer of quarterbacks like Reggie Ball and Kyle Wright. He has taken both Georgia Tech and Miami to success unseen on the offensive side of the ball since the days of the last guys to suck at the job their predecessors. In addition to that, he already has head coaching experience! At Hendersonville State! With results not included in his online CV!

Better still, Patrick Nix is an alum of the school, and would undoubtedly be treated with patience and respect by a school known for orchestrating graceful transitions of power. Nix now, Nix forever, Nix at Auburn! Congratulations, Tigerplainsmenfalconfaces: your nightmare power vacuum is over. You won't regret this at all.