COMING SOON!!! What better time than a recession to launch that most golden of enterprises, THE SPORTS PARODY MAGAZINE. With literally DOZENS of subscribers, imagine the fun we'll have. It'll be bigger than Taint Magazine! (Click for full size.)
Features will include:
--A weekly column on the foibles of college football by celebrated football expert CTHULU THE UNSPEAKABLE
--Incisive reporting! As in includes actual stabbings!
--Free gift lunchmeat mailed inside each and every issue.
--Lou Holtz's Crothword Thscramble
--Stunning Nude Pictorials of some of college football journalism's most striking journalists.
--Beauty tips from back-page skincare guru Rick Neuheisel
--SUBSCRIBE NOW OR YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE IF YOU DO NOT FORWARD TO 10 FRIENDS IMMEDIATELY.
--Back page columnist Rick Reilly! No really, it's just Rick Reilly's column, copied word for word, and pasted onto the back page. Your dad may love it!
EDSBS the Magazine! Contains only trace amounts of toxic heavy metals. Operators are standing by!