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THIS IS MY SON AND PARTNER, KNOWSHON MORENO. I'M A CARPET MAN.

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The Alphabetical is hyah; your Fearless Leader and trusty sidekick are, respectively, out enjoying a beautiful fall day and huddled in the fetal position under the bed dreaming of a world without 800 yards in penalties. Kindly accept this 'Freek offering with our compliments, and a pleasant afternoon to all.

(And admit it, you'd sit through four hours of Stark!Brooding!Emptiness! if it meant watching a rival SEC coach get bludgeoned to a bloody pulp with a ninepin.)