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NECESSARY THINGS: AGGIE EDITION

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Of course you need your own sawed-off pair of Texas Longhorns, Aggie fan. In response, Texas fans will soon fuel the growth of a market in collie head trophies, which the Chinese will be happy to supply. On second thought, disregard that first message. Neither fanbase has enough shame not to actually do this, which is one of many reasons why we both fear you, and love you. (HT: Dave.)