REMINDER: EDSBS LIVE is at 9:00 P.M. EDT. That is all.
It's the Redneck as hell, child-support-owin', turrurist-killin', Jesus-lovin', pickup-wreckin', oxycontin-chompin, Jeff Foxworthy ain't no redneck 'cause he laughs at my people's superior ways edition of the EDSBS Live. You cannot listen to this unless you've made love to a fire arm, paid an electrical bill in installments, or used the phrase "done been" without irony.
If tonight's show were a moment in history, it would look a lot like this:
Deadspin's Clay Travis will be our guest, and we give him three seconds before he makes a bingo wings joke. Our four questions follow:
1. Tell us your favrite SEC what like a eccentricity. Besides redneck sodomy, because who doesn't love that? Ours? That LSU actually keeps a dadburn tiger in a place nicer than most people's trailers. That blows our mind, or at least the parts the freon-huffin' ain't taken yet.
2. Which fans really are country boys what can survive? Meaning: which fans actually could, given a large nucular explosion (Our prezdint, god bless him, cain't say it wrong. LIBRULZ!!!) type event, would survive like Hank says they would. Our bets are on LSU fans, but only 'cause they'd eat people. We seen 'em do it.
3. The cream, please. Which team is the finest in all the land? Like, you know, the Gretchen Wilson of football teams for 2008? I know, say whatcha want, but I'll take an asskicker like her over some Faith Hill type anytime, because when you fall asleep with a cigarette in bed and burn down everything you own, she'll understand. Cause she done it, too.
4. What are you doin' to protect and defend the homeland? Personally, to protect ours and our'n, we're watching Wipeout and conjurin' up our own Japanese obstacle course. When the turrorists come, ain't no way they's gettin' over six spinnin' metal barrels. Only Asians ken do that trick, long with theys other special talents: kung-fu and havin' sideways vaginas.
Sees you tonight. Listen here, if you love America.