CURIOUS INDEX, 7/9/08

Perhaps we should scale back our plans for a fifth home with custom space elevator. Rich Rodriguez--or someone on his behalf--will pay West Virginia University the entire sum of $4 million dollars in damages related to his departure for Michigan this past January. The deal allegedly specifies how much Rodriguez will pay, and how much "someone else" will pay--presumably a man or woman named "Michigan Someone."

No, you're buying lunch this week.

Rodriguez, aside from now helming the Tiffany Program of college football, has to think of this as a loss, but perhaps should have seen this coming when one element of his legal defense was "I was, as a grown-up, enlawyered man, tricked into signing a large contract." Some degree of pardon should be reserved for Rodriguez, though: the minute anyone gets involved in a legal tussle over lots of money, everyone in the room stands on their hands, puts glasses on their taints, and begins speaking directly through their assholes for the duration of the discussion. It's called a legal shitfight for a reason.

The U will have their U. An agreement has been reached between Dolphin Stadium officials and the University of Miami to put the logo "U" on the field for 'Canes games in their new home in Miami. No word whether stadium officials will back up toilets and have sketchy locals outside parking cars on top of each other in forty square foot lots to make 'Canes fans feel comfortable during games.

Clemson and Alabama's tattoo wars set up for an epic battle in Atlanta. Hopefully we can get photos, but we know some LSU fan will top both by having a full bodysuit of purple and yellow stripes done to top the competition. Tip: save money on the yellow ink by developing a nice case of jaundice. Given the way we've seen LSU fans guzzle booze at games, this shouldn't be too difficult.

Hey, look! An inspirational story defying stereotypes! deflated. Who likes that? Journalistic fail: you're supposed to confirm what everyone thinks about the world, regardless of the evidence! Run along and do that, young typesmith!

If you didn't listen last night, stop by iTunes and search podcasts for "EDSBS Live" to listen to Phil Steele download one micron of his brain capacity on us last night. More than ever, we're convinced he just sees green showers of ones and zeros when he watches football.