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JIMMY JOHNS OF ALABAMA: CALL HIM THE SNOWMAN

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Jimmy Johns of Alabama, arrested for powder cocaine distribution for Alabama. Remember, it's gotta be powdered, because them rock boys just roll while you slang the snow. Also, because crack is for poor people. You must never forget this.

From Al.com:

Asked for the specific charges, Kosloff said he believed the Brookhaven, Miss., native was arrested and charged with seven "drug-related" charges, including selling.

Police allege cocaine and marijuana are involved, Kosloff said.

Johns had moved from running back to "linebacker," a term with numerous double entendres in light of the alleged charges. More to come, but we won't use this as an excuse to post Dr. Rockso videos no we won't we I DO COCAAAAAAAAAINE!!!! GONNA MAKE YOU A BALLOOOOOOON ANIMAAAAAAL!!!!

Seriously, he does a lot of cocaine.

Update: Mug shot with fierce beard. Worse news still: we're going to have to have Brian rework the board again, because Alabama may have just taken a huge leap forward in the Fulmer Cup standings. (Five felony possession charges alone= FIFTEEN points. Digits, baby!)