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FULMER CUPDATE: 'EER CLOSER TO THE LEAD

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This week's Fulmer Cupdate brings Mizzou's seemingly insurmountable lead within a misdemeanor's reach. Gasp, and marvel at this week's epic update. Big Board to you by Matsumoto Industrial Concern and Brian, who is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson.

The dismissal of Charles Pugh from the Mountaineers this past week resulted from a stolen credit card charge. The arrest and subsequent dismissal of Evan Rodriguez from the team resulted from a misdemeanor assault charge.

The combined arrests (three points for the felony credit card charge at least, one point for the misdemeanor battery charge,) put West Virginia just two points shy of Missouri for the Fulmer Cup lead, a mighty achievement given the Kanchenjunga of points the Tigers had amassed over the competition.

Charles Pugh's mom, though, would like you to know that while her son was in fact involved in the credit card theft and use, he was not alone.

She said an unidentified woman mentioned in the criminal complaint against her son is a "very good friend" of his and that she used the cards to make several purchases, including women's clothing and perfume.

"Everyone's making it seem like he did all this, but from what I understand the name on the card is a woman's name. How in the heck is Charles going to make all these purchases with a card with a girl's name?" Viola said.

Viola clearly overestimates the vigilance of most cashiers, who would not be bothered with checking ID if a petite 5'2" woman walked up and purchased $800 of clothes on a credit card belonging to a Mr. "Buttfuck P. Rogers."

Marshall, completely outpaced by their in-state rival, pulls a pittance of a charge with a two point generic fighting charge. The link comes courtesy of 106.3x, the Tri-State's rock station, which has Seven Mary Three's "Cumbersome" ready to go for the NINTH TIME TODAY after this break! ROCK!