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CURIOUS INDEX, 5/14/08

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Brennan Carroll will have to tell you he loves you in person. The Brennan Carroll "Mic'd Up" video from USCRipsIt.com has been pulled thanks to that dastardly COACH Rick Neuheisel across town allegedly using it and the copious profanities in the short clip of the USC tight ends coach working with walkons in negative recruiting.

Pete Carroll said the intent of the video was a "spoof."

"As we went through the process, we were just having fun with it," he said. "Sometimes stuff can be misinterpreted or misused or not received well."

It's your fault viewer. Honestly, anyone who did not think this video was indicative of the kind of profanity a coach farts out in his deepest of slumbers, or that profanity has anything at all to do with character, can go...um...como se dice...fuck themselves with a morbidly rigid porcupine dick? You took away our tiny little fun internet film, you bastards. We do not love every one of you as Brennan Carroll does.

Rich Rodriguez describes West Virginia athletics as "dysfunctional" in a deposition given in the ongoing wild holler-tussle over his $4 million buyout, citing Ed Pastilong's sudden doubt in Rodriguez following the 13-9 loss to Pitt as the breaking point in their strained relationship.

"... I was like, I couldn't believe it," Rodriguez said in the transcript of the session that lasted nearly seven-and-a-half hours. "I mean, that didn't sound like Eddie. But, again, we hadn't communicated. And that just reaffirmed that, geez, he knew me well enough to know that was throwing a little salt on the wound there."

Perhaps Pastilong had merely discovered Rodriguez's secret Hispanomexicanasian roots, and no longer felt comfortable with a member of a different race.

Maybe you should have told him sooner, Rich HUSSEIN Rodriguez.

South Carolina hired Maryland special teams coach Ray Rychleski to fix their habit of letting the other team block punts. In seven years at Maryland the Terps did not have a blocked punt; in their final game against Clemson last season, the Gamecocks had two punts blocked, a double whammy for Spurrier in that a.) it's a blocked punt, and b.) he had to punt in the first place. The loss cost the Cocks a chance to go to a bowl game.

Tony Franklin is not a rat. Franklin, the offensive coordinator for Auburn, cranks out books like Isaac Asimov in ill-fitting coaching shorts, evidently. Not only does he publish his own playbooks, he's also written a tell-all about his time coaching at Kentucky under Hal Mumme and penned a book entitled Victor's Victory about the death of a Hoover High School football player. He plans to publish a monograph about the sporting birds of southern Alabama later this summer, and is also working on a screenplay about migrant workers in rural Arizona in his spare time.

Kansas has to play four bowl teams this year. Mark Mangino is calling his real estate agent at this moment to complain about this.