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BRENNAN CARROLL LOVES EVERY ONE OF YOU

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You got fourteen days of practice-THIS IS A FUCKING WARMUP. You've all got shots to become heroes. Might be a little fear here might be a little scared but I need you to work your fucking asses off. We at EDSBS want you to know we love every one of you. What is this, fucking "Dancing With the Stars?!?!" DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!

Prone. PRONE!!! I don't have a whistle, I just say whistle. Ball. Come on: Ball! stick-OUT! (From USCRipsIt, which does a little more each day to explain why USC gets every single recruit they so much as blink at.)

NOTE! BRENNAN WANTS YOU TO LISTEN TO EDSBS LIVE! Right here! With Kyle King, who's gonna tell us why the Dawgs are gonna lose to USC in the title game! We love you all! At 9:00 EST here!

DOUBLE NOTE! Might want to check out Brennan's Wikipedia page. A screencap follows, because you know they're going to axe it in a matter of minutes after this.