THE BIG BOARD IS A COMPLICATED--damn you, Caps Lock. Apologies for the yelling. Sweetly, sotto voce.The big board this week is a crowded affair, reflecting the hectic activity of the past two weeks and readers' insistence on properly counting things, something we struggle to do.
Apologies and flailing attempts at accounting follow.
Buffalo'D! Colorado gets in some mountain man brawling, perhaps vibing a bit to ferociously off the instructions "YOU NEED TO GO OUT THERE AND HIT THEM IN THE MOUTH!" That is precisely what Colorado tight end Riar Geer did, as he should with an evil Norwegian hit man's name like "Riar Geer."
In an unrelated situation, Geer was arrested late Friday following a fight on The Hill in Boulder that evening. Geer allegedly punched two fellow CU students in the mouth during the altercation. One had to receive medical attention.
The other student required none, as dead men don't make complaints. When Colorado football players weren't punching people in the face this weekend, they were busy punching people in the face with rocks in their hands. Again, whatever rageahol enemas Dan Hawkins has them on are working wonders, as Lynn Katoa showed here.
Witnesses told police that a man, whom they reportedly identified as Katoa, walked into the apartment, slammed one victim's head into a wall, then hit another victim with his fist. There were some accounts that the suspect was holding a rock at the time.
Combined with two prior arrests for Colorado and some negligent accounting on our part, that's a total of nine points for the Buffs, broken down thusly:
--one point for minor in posssession
--one point for tomfoolery
--three points for Geer's mouth punching assault charge
--three points for Katoa's party-brawling
--one bonus point for Katoa feeling the need to allegedly punch someone with a rock in his hand.
Again, the Buffs sit at nine points, a good sign for those who've already got them winning the Big 12 North this year.
Sakerlina tags on another point for DB Mike Newton's disorderly conduct charge, adding one point to the Cocks' total. No details on the arrest yet, but given that it's Columbia, the incident took place at Club (Insert Number here) or some place ending in the singular possessive "(NAME)'s."
Alabama loses one of their points following the dismissal of Rashad Johnson's disorderly conduct charges. The board erroneously reads eight, and should read seven. The error is mine, but don't let it stop Auburn fans from reminding you that that's a seven, which could be the number of times the Tigers beat Alabama in a row if the streak continues this year.
West Virginia collects five points in total for the arrest involving Noel Devine and four other WVU football players in a scuffle Chris Rock warned you against long, long ago:
Devine said he didnt know why the individual, who he said he did not know, was threatening him but thought it might have been because one of his friends had stepped on his shoes.
It's a cheapie FnDC charge for each, and Devine's already copped to it, paid the fine, and is keeping a low profile. Still: five points for the 'Eers, a total barely putting them on the board in this mad sprint of a Fulmer Cup chase.
Of course we counted something wrong. So leave your corrections in the comments, and we'll get to them as soon as we stop watching Jim Cramer weep blood over the demise of his beloved Bear Stearns.