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We never want Terry Bowden to become a coach again, not because we bear him any particular animosity (really, isn't the middle of the night the best way to leave Auburn no matter who you are?), but because we really, really enjoy his work for Yahoo Sports as a part-time columnist. Especially, you know, when he gets all honest and stuff.

I can still hear my football coach yelling in my ear … “knock him on his butt” … “kick his fanny” … “blow him off the line.”

Unfortunately, I recall a few other phrases as well. Things such as “take his knee out” … and … “knock his head off.” As a young head coach, I’m not so sure I didn’t say some of those things myself.

We're not sure we didn't say a few of those things about Terry Bowden ourselves as a stunned and teary 18 year old Florida fan in 1994 at Florida Field. We take them all back, Terry. That's Terry Bowden, not Terry Dean. We still mean everything we said, including the bit involving the bucket of water, a rubber apron, and a car battery. Five interceptions? Really?

Did I say sweep the leg? Sorry about that.