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Perrillouxse Times. This weekend's story of great intrigue is the fate of Ryan Perrilloux. Our source at LSU says that there's nothing official to the story yet, but that's cagey propriety at its best. Perrilloux, previously associated with a sketchy casino visit thingy, may or may not have left LSU this weekend.

Kevin went large with this, and message boards like Orangebloods have been posting all sorts of exciting and totally unsubstantiated rumors that we'll believe because:

A. This is Louisiana.
B. This is Ryan Perrilloux
C. This is the SEC.

Here's a list of factors we've heard in conjunction with this story: casinos, poker games, cash, gambling debt, gambling addiction, parental meddling, cocaine, illegal benefits, and extortion. What is actually happening will never be known; this seems a certainty in this case, especially given factors A, B, and C above. The knowns here we can focus on: LSU's only experienced qb is a grave liability conduct-wise, may be gone from the team, and will make any proposed bid for a repeat SEC/MNC title for LSU even shakier than than it may have been without Glenn Dorsey, who's left for the NFL. Dark things lurk here, but at this moment, there's much ado about nothing. Take anything you hear with generous heaps of salt--again, refer to factors A, B, and C above.

Colquitt should have punted. Yup, Britton Colquitt got a DUI. The Fulmer Cup entry will follow shortly, but without parsing the numbers, this should put Tennessee where it should be: in the lead.

Roger Sonsini, the high school assistant who insinuated that Darrell Scott's recruitment was a bit sketchier than the average high school recruiting process, has been fired for the remarks.

The MZone has the heartwarming story of Buckeyes marrying at the White Castle, a practice we'll defend heartily here. First, White Castle is superb grub, and just as good a place to take a fifty percent gamble with your precious life as anywhere. It's also cheaper than a church, and in a recession, probably a wiser choice financially. Finally, if you get married at a White Castle, you're sure to share one of the most intimate features of marriage with your significant other immediately: explosive, tear-inducing, bat-killing flatulence.

On this President's Day, let's salute the ultimate in underrated Presidents: the great continent-grabber himself, James K. Polk. Whinnying at ya, dark horse.