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Super Tuesday Express Edition! Vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote! Tuh-DAAAAAAAY!

Rudy Carpenter elects to wear a pink shirt, and then completes the angry athlete trifecta: oversensitivity, inquiring what sport the verbal assailant played, and then attempting to fight the person who laughed at his pink shirt by calling him gay. Chairman Kaga pronounces you the winner, Rudy-san.

Dirty campaigning doesn't begin to describe this.

Rich Brooks' ping-pong skills earned the vote of one recruit, causing him to flip-flop to Kentucky from Tennessee.

Universal health care coverage won't likely stop former MSU qb Michael Henig's hip from making strange noises or hurting, a fact surprising no one who watched him take an unholy, Nixon v. McGovern-style beating every single time he took the
field for the Bulldogs.

Pimp C? He died of a combination of sleep apnea and---NOOOOOOOOOOOO!--purple drank. All this OD'in gonna give Promethezine a bad name, lawya. (Sip!)

I elect to grip, and sip. Yes I can! Yes I can!