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THE TEN MOMENTS OF PURE MALICIOUS FATE, 2007: BRUINS BLOCKED

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We're counting down the most malicious strikes of evil fate of 2007. Do you have a fever? Man, that could be anything.

It's a beautiful day DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...and the cd starts skipping wildly when UCLA, playing inspired comeback football against BYU with an interim coach and nothing to lose, drives down the field for a sure game-winning field goal that soars off the gilded toe of UCLA's kicker and into the...hands of a huge Samoan, Eathyn Manumaleuna.

The block ended the comeback, preserved a 17-16 win for BYU, and ruined the script. Now we won't be able to sell it for anything! WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MY FUCKING M.F.A. FOR ANYWAY, HUH! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!

To be continued, because they get much, much worse. Do you ever worry about how many unsecured nuclear weapons there are in this world? Because you should.