clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

BEN MOFFITT GETS A IN DIVISION OF LABOR

New, 36 comments

Your theme for the post:

One of the things you never see as a threat to your football program is divorce. But Tampa just brings the funk like that, as Ben Moffitt and wife are proving in their increasingly acrimonious divorce settlement.

TAMPA, AMERICA'S NEXT GREAT CITY SINCE 1979 - Shauna Moffitt, the wife of University of South Florida senior linebacker Ben Moffitt, said she wrote nearly every paper for him during his five years at USF and also completed two online courses for him.

"Ben Moffitt has never written a paper," Shauna said. "Never. Ever. I love him, but he doesn't know how to spell. He cheats."

If you say that someone can't spell in public, we'd argue that you probably don't actually love him, but whatever--it's divorce, let bullets fly and the grenades tumble. Most guys would prefer this to the usual gay/small penis/serial abuser accusations that surface after divorces, save for one detail: it could get an NCAA investigation working at USF.

The chances of the investigation actually digging up anything incriminating are tiny: if Moffitt was really getting papers written for him by his wife and her twin sister (yes, let your mind go there, now come on back) as alleged in the article, it proves that Moffitt is a cheater, but doesn't come anywhere close to proving USF had anything to do with it. Whoever actually wrote the papers, the story does have some import for two people: Moffitt, portrayed as someone who's deserted his family for the past two months, and Nick Saban, who earned tongue daggers from Leavitt after Saban suggested USF's roster was full of guys "who probably could have gone to Florida or Florida State but Florida and Florida State couldn't take them."

As suggested in the title of the post: Moffitt may not be able to spell, but he clearly has a deep understanding of the economic concept of division of labor. (HT: ZZGator)