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"Disloyal...cancer..." Lawyer Milloy crossed out the name "Bobby Petrino" on the farewell letter the coach left in Atlanta and inserted his own edit:

Milloy also called Petrino "a cancer," which is going a bit far. Cancer sticks around! Ah, cancer jokes. You never let us down. Also: everyone's lying, or half the people are telling the truth: Arthur Blank accuses Petrino's agent of telling "a fucking lie" in the AJC.

Speaking of terminal diseases, the Michigan coaching search metastasizes into...Delaware? Michigan is reportedly very, very interested in Blue Hen coach K.C. Keeler, who may soon do what Michigan did not do this year: beat Appalachian State. The Blue Hens (we just like typing that name) face App State in the D-1AA (proper terminology) Championship Friday night, and Keeler says the game isn't a matter of an audition for the Michigan job, or even that of simply winning a game. IT IS ABOUT CHEATING THE GRIM REAPER AND SLIPPING THE SURLY BONDS OF THIS MORTAL COIL.

"I said this and I'll repeat it again," Keeler said. "I didn't come here [to Delaware] to leave here. I love this place. It is, obviously, an honor to ever be mentioned for a job of any magnitude, especially one like that.

"However, I am trying to get immortality, and immortality is a national championship. There's nothing more important to me than that. And that's all the kids care about, too."

So, there's that Michigan fans. We understand there's an emphasis on longevity in Michigan coaching searches, but eternity's a bit of a stretch, right?

Mississippi State is bringing much cowbell to the Liberty Bowl: they've already bought 30,000 tickets to the game, ensuring that the bowl game will be sufficiently CR00mXoR3D.

Horrific pun alert: Oregon State has signed a deal to play Penn State in 2008. The Oregon State Beavers. At Beaver Stadium. Beavers.

June Jones is busy handing out cash to his assistants--a mere $100,000, mind you, scarcely enough to buy a recruit upgrade your weight room in the SEC. Perhaps he should save some of the cash for a priest, if LSUFreek's vision of a Georgia cheerleader is close to accurate in describing the outcome of the game.