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PLAY STATION HELPS MIAMI PREP FOR BLACKSBURG

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Kayne's been to Blacksburg. We've played "White Cliffs of Dover" in front of thousands.

Miami receiver Kayne Farquharson has plenty of experience playing in Blacksburg against Virginia Tech. Hell, he can even control the weather there, since the only time he's played there is a as a participant in a game of PlayStation football.

Farqurharson, who has never played a game at Virginia Tech, said he has a pretty good idea of what to expect Saturday from playing the video game NCAA Football 08 on Playstation. He feels it's just as intense when playing on the road in cyber games against the Hokies.

"I got an idea," Farqurharson said. "On the Playstation, you got home-field advantage. You press L2 [button] against the team and the joystick will rattle. The screen will shake. … The joystick vibrates. They scream hard. They scream real hard. That's the closest I've been to Blacksburg."

This could explain so much about Miami's offense this season...someone grab Patrick Nix's playbook, stat! If our theory is true, the audible calls should be something like "LEFT STICK D-PAD UP CHECK!" For variation, we imagine they toggle back and forth between XBox and PS3 setups.

Also, if this qualifies as experience, we've got vast experience at the following jobs: professional guitarist, ping-pong player, mercenary-for-hire, assassin, government operative, Italian plumber, zombie slayer, charismatic Sim, builder of cities and entire civilizations, and as defender of humanity against a cruel race of unstoppable parasitic aliens. Oh, and as the Heisman-winning qb for the six-time NCAA champion Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders. Not many men can throw for fifty TDs and run for 40 more in a season, but we're not normal, people.

(HT: The Great Barstoolio)