Craig James, what is thy purpose? This question was finally answered last night as Matt Ryan, fresh off throwing the game-winning touchdown against Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, coughed up a yellowish stream of Gatorade on camera from the sidelines.
James: Oh, yeah. He's givin' it up.
Craig James, in addition to making the noise "WOOOOO!" whenever someone takes a hit of any significance, now may add Vomit-tator to his resume.
BTW: If you have video of Ryan hurling, please send it our way ASAP, since yeah, sure, Boston College mounted two successful drives and an onside kick in the fourth quarter to beat Virginia Tech at home to remain number 2 and keep their undefeated season alive. What we're really interested in is the televised vomiting.
If you went to bed and assumed you were about to watch the Hokies choke another 10-0 victory out of the ACC, we present the final drive in its entirety. Ryan's final throw is a heave of immense improbability. (HT: ATLEagle.)
Virginia Tech fans, take solace in the fact your school won the national collegiate bass fishing title yesterday. So there's that. Sean Glennon tried out for the team, but undercasting is unacceptable in high-level bassfishery.
We'd love to be an ACC ref, because if you don't make a call, you can simply ask those around you what happened, and they'll helpfully tell you the proper decision. That's what happened on Tech's only touchdown last night, which came after an equally fishy pass interference call on Boston College. The line judge, blocked from the play by a linesman, a roadside fruit stand, and the planet Mercury, missed Eddie Royal bobbling the ball before gaining control of it a full six inches out of bounds and in midair.
The official, his hands literally extended palms out at his side, looked around for help. Fortunately, Virginia Tech players were there for the assist, and helpfully informed him the play was obviously a touchdown. Replay upheld the absurd call, too, proving that incompetence, like yawning or the plague, is contagious and unstoppable.
Jon Chait of Slate gets paid to take a Victors message board post and put it up on Slate.com in a piece called "The worst coach in the world universe." In case you're too busy admiring the shiny pink walls of your colon, he's referring to Charlie Weis. We'd love to show you the piece with the link to the piece, but Slate.com's completely down right now. THE VATICAN DID IT AND IT IS A CONSPIRACY I SHALL MAKE SHORT FILMS ABOUT IT AND 9/11 AND CLOG YOUTUBE WITH THEM.
Florida State AD Dave Hart is out after 12 years in the position. Hart had "not seen eye to eye" with T.K. Wetherell on the operations of the athletic department recently, a long-simmering conflict now concluded with Hart's resignation.
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CURIOUS INDEX, 10/26/07