clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

INTRODUCING AMBASSADOR CROWDER

New, 54 comments
Right here.

Channing Crowder honed his tackling skills at Florida by attempting to tackle wild boar on hunting trips. (No, really, he did.) This says much for his gusto for the game, and also seems to speak for his intelligence as a whole, judging from this article in the Palm Beach Post about Miami's upcoming game against the New York Giants in London.

Crowder, a former Florida Gator and Atlanta native, apparently isn’t sure where the plane is headed when it takes off this afternoon for Sunday’s game against the New York Giants in Wembley Stadium.

"I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries," Crowder said. "I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.

"I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name."

There's far too much to mock here, so we'll just say it: Florida's geography department sucks. We blame them, and of course, society for failing to educate this young man, who nevertheless sleeps on a pile of money at night with many beautiful women. And I gladly stand UP! Next to you, Channing Crowder, and defend her still today. Even if you can't find yourself on a map.

(HT: Darkknight.)