Schnupped out like the flame of a candle.Baylor o-line coach Eric Schnupp, we hardly knew ye. But we knew ye to be a man who unwisely chose to piss on the bar, and on that bar of a bar that hath a moonlighting reporter as its barkeep, and that when thy grog was served to thee in excess, that thou hath pullest thy spawnspout out and unleashed a jaundiced, reeking, and mighty font of horsepiss upon the sideboard.
And for that, you lose your daily bread as bequeathed by Baylor. Sad as that may be for thee, remember that you hath stayed true to thy U, whose children keepeth it real by pooping in closets and relieving thyself whereverst thou pleases. Let this be thy comfort in a time of need.
Did Bill Callahan call Tom Osborne "a crusty old fuck?" Nothing better than hearsay written by an undergrad relying on a fired trainer as a source, but again, it's truthy enough to believe given Callahan's propensity for spastic anger and ill-advised comments.
Mark Sanchez took almost all of the snaps this week in practice for USC, but Pete Carroll is "pumped and psyched" about being vague in response to questions about who exactly will start for USC against Notre Dame. Even though it will be Sanchez over Booty, whose injured finger is "just jacked to have an opportunity to serve as a red herring in this game against a respected rival like Notre Dame."
Charlie Weis, in response to questions, raised a hand to the skies and screamed "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZ!!!"
Paul Westerdawg gets on the LOLCats bandwagon in spectacular fashion. A week early, yes, but quality knows no calendar.
Juice Williams will be the starter for the Illinoise Illini against Michigan on Saturday, meaning that Michgian will not have to face a competent pass on defense during the game. The whole point of this post is to say that Juice Williams is awful. Oh, holy smoking Lucifer's fiery balls is he awful. He couldn't start for App State, and hasn't topped 130 yards passing this season at all. Against anyone. In any of the football games he's played this season.
In fact, versus Michigan's gentlemanly defense, the duel of manners between Williams and the Wolverine defense could be the stuff of falling-off-barstool funny. Please, sir, take a wide berth through this generous zone defense hole! No, I couldn't possibly. No, we insist! No, I prefer to hem and haw for a bit before shortening the grass with a throw into the sod. Have it as you like, boy-o!
They're all wearing bowlers as they say this, natch.
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CURIOUS INDEX, 10/19/07