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Tons going on this weekend, so we push the old ladies down and cut to the head of the line.

Going to Baton Rouge. Momma, that's a bad place, according to Mike Oher, but we're ready to take our whippin' and watch the drunken hordes of LSU fans with our own bleary eyes.

NEED TICKETS. We need tickets, of course--email us if have two to sell at face. If you supply us with face value tickets, we'll give you a signed copy of the ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior, which comes out next week. We need two: one for us, and one for our kind host. We realize this is like asking someone to mail you a leprechaun, but it's our last hope. Planning is for sissies.

In case you doubt the quality of the ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior, regard the following diagram from the stirring chapter "How to Steal a Mascot" and consider yourself converted to the way of the Psycho Fan.

Seriously, there's lots of pictures, and it's the most bathroom-compatible book ever written. PURCHASE PURCHASE PURCHASE!!!

We will be tailgating. This will involve a headbutt from reader Ragin' Cajun Rebel, who is about to discover that nifty little metal plate in our forehead the hard way. Who says severe head injuries don't have an upside? If you want to meet and greet, please email us at the standard harumphharumph at the yahoo type address to get in contact with us.

Specious picks! We're making some weekly sandwiches for the Sporting News under a really bizarre pseudonym now. Enjoy some completely unscientific deli meat while you're browsing today.

Enjoy your weekend, and come talk to Verne on Sunday. If you don't hear from us by Sunday on EDSBS Live, we're dead in a bayou with a smile on our face. Our guest (if we live) will be Verne Lundquist of CBS. Stop by the site and hit the EDSBS LIVE! banner on the right side of the screen just before 7 p.m. EST.

In the meantime......we'll have Ladies on for liveblogging. Boobs! Football! Pull up the laptop and get sedentary, people. Blood makes the grass grow, but it doesn't have to be yours, viewer. Let some fine scholarship athletes do all that mess for you this weekend.

If you'll excuse us, we've got a party to get to in Baton Rouge. We've heard the host is...a bit quick to anger if you ask him about who built the digs.

Who made this? Huh? ME! Not Nick Saban! ME!"