clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

SOULJA BOY: A DISEASE FOR MASCOTS

New, 45 comments

The pandemic of the Soulja Boy has found a perfect host in the organism we call a college mascot. Originally, we believe it was introduced into the population by Sebastian the Ibis, who cranked his original version in the OB with the sort of verve and authority in urban dance you've come to expect from the Miami Hurricanes.

Doing Randall Hill proud, we say. The next logical stop was Maryland, the epicenter of white boy hip-hop annexation.

Testudo's version is, by necessity, an inferior one, since it's not Sebastian the Ibis representing DA U (make the sign with your hands at home as you say this,) and he's lacking a certain rubbery bounce in his step. We blame the shell.

Finally, it traveled up the highway to Blacksburg, where the Hokie's turned it into some sort of move usually reserved for polka choreography (though that is a superb Superman move he does.)

We pass him as well for being a dancing turkey. The humor's in the wattles, really.

Finally, the Soulja Boy craze has even infected those corridors of our society most impervious to the effluvia of popular culture and whimsy: our own military academies.

Well, it is thematically appropriate, even if we cringe at the notion of future Army artilleryman suggesting that by laying down a massive barrage of bombs and shells on an enemy camp they would "truly be supersoaking that ho." (That's probably destined to happen anyway, but we don't have to like it now, do we?)