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CURIOUS INDEX, 9/13/07

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We saw you on Round the Horn, and disdain you, sir.

Agriculture! It's the new horticulture. The L.A. Times T.J. Simers went out to Nebraska a week early and spent time on a farm milking cows, getting up early, and generally trying to get the Heartland feel down pat leading up to the Nebraska game. The folksy quote:

"It's like my dad used to say, 'You'll never go to hell if you put in a hard day's work,' says Linda, and so right away I'm thinking, where does that leave Bill Dwyre, who writes only two columns a week?

Wocka-wocka! We'd also like to chide Nebraska Linda and point out that Stalin was a really hard worker, and don't you dare take that away from him. 20 million people don't die by themselves, you know. Meanwhile, Nebraska fans are being urged in the most polite of ways to please stay off the field Saturday to avoid any Kellen Huston-like incidents.

Jimbo Fisher will not jerk off Drew Weatherford and fire him. If they jerked us off and fired us each time we made a mistake here, we'd be one handjob richer, we suppose.

In case your video is blocked, Fisher's quote on possibly pulling Drew Weatherford for Xavier Lee: "What would happen if every time you wrote a bad article, they jerked you off and fired you?" Oh, if only that policy were in place at the Orlando Sentinel. We'd put on rubber gloves and do the job on Mike Bianchi ourselves.

Tony Barnhardt thinks the Florida game would be a badly needed road win for Tennessee. We think Phil Fulmer needs to go fuck a mudpile without a condom. AHHHHHH HATE WEEK!!!! Barnhardt also notes that Tennessee is 15-12 in its last 27 games.

With Leather figured out the SEC chain gang guy story: he was being arrested for "aggravated stalking." Meaning he was right outside your window, wearing an old pair of panties you threw out in the garbage, completely in love with you like no one else ever will be...and was really, really irritated about the whole situation.

Don't forget your towel, Cougars! Kansas State desperately needs to tighten up on the licensing people. We can't really blame them, though--such a mediocre mascot can only lead to confusion for the branding folks.


Cougars. Wildcats. Whatever.
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