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TIM BRANDO'S BALLS CUT LIKE KNIVES

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Tim Brando must play golf with the new Titleist Mutilator:

Former Auburn quarterback Stan White had his Regions Charity Classic pro-am round cut short this morning when he was struck in the head by an errant tee-shot on the sixth hole.

According to eyewitnesses, White was autographing a football about 50 yards from the tee-box when CBS Sports announcer Tim Brando's shot hit right behind one of White's ears.

We spent a lot of time at the golf course as a kid, and in between clearly illustrating to our very disappointed father that we could not be successful at even the most genteel of sports, we were hit with every possible variation of golf shot. We never had to get stitches for any of them. Stan White received "three or four stitches" for the cut resulting from Brando's errant shot, which means Tim Brando is clearly hopped up on cut-rate Mexican steroids.

Brando, when not making EXTREMELY enthusiastic appearances at the pregame and halftime breaks of CBS college football broadcasts, also evidently takes driving lessons from Charles Barkley.

Combined with this golf swing, the fact that he just got interviewed by the New Republic, and that he spent a lot of his free time throwing people through bar windows after they "picked fights with him," we've just set one of our goals in life as having dinner with Charles Barkley. (And judging from the shot above, dessert will be part of the package.)