Last season Purdue TE Garret Bushong stated that:
We run this place and if anyone begs to differ, I’ll say what my good buddy Brandon Kirsch once said. "You know where to find me, locker number three, so come and say what you need to say to my face."
This edict does not apply to Nick's Nightclub in West Lafayette. Purdue wide receiver Selwyn Lymon, (not named after the mythical half lime, half-lemon fueling the irresistible taste of Sprite,) got stabbed by someone early this morning in the parking lot of the aforementioned club. Lymon suffered a wound to the upper chest and is listed in critical but stable condition at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Lafayette. For the layperson, "critical but stable" is medical terminology for "nasty, probably won't die, and definitely in need of piles of painkillers."
Purdue WR Lymon: injury report says "stabbed."
Paramedics responded promptly and stopped the bleeding, prompting Joe Tiller to immediately offer them the job of defensive coordinator at Purdue. "We've had a problem with that around here," said Tiller at a morning press conference. "When we see talent, we take it wherever it's coming from."*
* No, he didn't.