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PEA-NUTTS: WHERE FAN PSYCHOSIS MEETS FOIA

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Another exciting chapter in college football's favorite telenovela unfolds. Join us now for...

Las Cronicas this week opens with a Law and Order bend to the plot. Last year's contract extension for Boss Hawg emerged without details on the exact numbers. Enter intrepid reporters, who instead of investigating the wallows of graft floating around them grabbed themselves a Freedom of Information Act request to force the divulging of the exact numbers of Nutt's contract.

(We're so down with responsible journalism in the south we even use FOIA to find out coaching salaries. Suck on that, Yankee elitists. WHAT? HUH?)

The details? For going 10-4 and getting the Razorbacks to the SEC championship game, Nutt received a whopping raise of 1,768,728 dollars. Man, that's actually a shitload of money. Good job, sir...

No, wait...that's in pesos, actually. In US currency that's a raise of $160,000, a piddling sum leaving Nutt as the eighth-ranked coach in salary terms in the SEC behind Urban Meyer, Phil Fulmer, Cappy the popcorn guy at Ole Miss, Smokey the Tennessee mascot, and Jackd Filltrap, tenured Professor of Badass Studies at LSU.

Nutt did receive a ton of deferred money, including a million dollar bonus if he stays through 2009. We love those bonuses. They should just include things like "Gets own MechaGodzilla in 2013," or "May force all staffers to wear harem pants in 2013." Given the mayflyesque coaching tenures in the SEC and in college football in general, it's a solid bet he'll never see any of it.


"If I stay 'til 2012, I get the one on the right...which is nice."