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SPRING PRACTICE REPORTS: TOP SECRET SUPER ALABAMA REPORT

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Answering our call for spring report correspondents, J. Campbell from Bama Report files this tidbit from Tuscaloosa about the Tide's practices under the reign of Saban the Merciless. If you would like to file a spring report to EDSBS, send details and nude(NO!--legal.) pictures to harumphharumph of the yahoo.com variety of email address.

Much thanks to J. for the pics.

Nick Saban kept his first spring practice at the University of Alabama frenetic but not furibund, instructing players on both sides of the ball, shadowing his assistants through manifold drills and exercises for an assiduous 110 minutes--at one point even filling in for the secondary coach's missing graduate assistant. Cornerback Simeon Castille lasted 45 minutes of the first practice before having his manhood challenged, paying takers on the under a moneyline of 5:2.

Saban, seen here on the practice field, attempts to instill the discipline sorely absent from the previous regime, who, if this sign is any indication, found it necessary to remind the team they were football players, not the Dukes of Hazzard.


Remember: don't drive your vehicle on the field, especially if your car chews tobacco.

Addressing the players after a team sprint, Saban borrows a Khmer Rouge motivational technique: "Your families have forgotten you; whatever I say is your reality. Today you see but an empty hand. But by the end of this, I will raise an empty hand and you will see a gun. And if I shoot you with this gun, you die!"


This is Year Zero, says Saban.

Although practices are closed to the public, an MQ-1 Predator on loan to the Tuscaloosa News beamed back this video prior to being "accidentally" knocked down by left tackle Andre Smith, who was then secured in his cave beneath Jabba's throne room.