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TALLAHASSEE JUST WENT UP A CUP SIZE.

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Tallahassee just got chestier: Chuck Amato, deposed head coach at NC State, will be rejoining the Seminole coaching staff as linebackers' guru after his colorful sabbatical in NC. In addition to his mighty gazongas, Amato will be bringing his trademark red shoes and sunglasses to the Florida State sidelines, ensuring that Florida State will have the highest "totally unnecessary fashion accessory" quotient of any coaching staff in the land. This will surely assist them in efforts to recruit the finest safari-hat-wearing, goofy-footwear-lovin' recruits in the land, a crucial demographic eluding Florida State recruiting efforts over the past few years.


Good FSU players love bad hats. It's a matter of natural law.

Bowden went on to praise Amato's return, saying "He'd missed his son, just like he misses all of them, whatever their names are." When reminded that Amato is not actually related to them, Bowden appeared confused, angry, and then spoke about firing Amato for lying on his resume. FSU handlers then quickly dosed Bowden with applesauce injections, placed a Shelby Foote history in his hands, and hurried him away from the flashbulbs and press.

Kevin at Fanblogs is elated over the coaching staff changes, though, even if Amato, new offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher, and new offensive line coach Rick Trickett are all not in fact related to Bowden, a prior condition for employment at the university. (Don't tell Bobby this. Seriously. You'll have to crack out the applesauce gun again, and it's not a pretty sight.) Rick Trickett brings an especially fresh perspective, since he's got Florida State pulling offers from 340 lb. behemoths and opting for the lighter rhino-type lineman who can move and block simultaneously, an unheard-of practice in Tallahassee under the prior management.

(We remind you that Jeff Bowden will be paid Florida State money for sucking until the year 2012. Six figures of it each year, actually. This message brought to you by Base, Loathsome Human Power Dynamics, Ltd: Bringing Ugly Politics Back to Humanity since 1973.)

SMQ reminds us that despite an impressive degree of linebacking tutelage, Amato was also partially culpable for the Seminole Rap. Pay particularly close attention to John Brown, number 50. He's the guy with the Farva mustache who bites a big wheel in the weight room and sports the Palm Beach wraparounds you normally see on tottering retirees praying for death. Ignore Deion--that Brown guy's got, like, Bubba Sparxx style potential.

I like to stand 'em up, and knock 'em down.