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IN SHOCKING REVERSAL, PETRINO TO LEAVE CARDINALS FOR NFL

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In a move surprising exactly no one, Bobby Petrino is leaving the Louisville Cardinals and heading to the NFL, which in all media descriptions will have "pastures" described as greener. (If this makes coaches cattle, we're all for it. [NAME REDACTED]'s the bull over there ramming the barn over and over again for no reason.)


Lucrative...contract...mooooo....