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SUGAR BOWL LIVEBLOG: HALFTIME/THIRD QUARTER

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There will be a horrible musical act. There will be some Fox Attitude! And then, you get football.


Fox attitude!

OS, 10:31: LSU's band won the "Heisman Trophy for marching bands." Does this mean none of them are ever going to succeed in the pros?

OS, 10:36: Screw you, field goal guy! LOSER!!! See? Bloggers don't just hate the big guys. We hate everyone with equanimity.

PB, 10:38: There's no shame on Fox 99% of the time - with that in mind, they need to get far more aggressive with courting more interesting sponsors. You can't do anything fun when AllState's funding the party. We're in New Orleans. Let's get some real sponsors. Like, Bacardi. Or Scores. And instead of Zalesko scaring the kicker into missing with hokey dialogue, we get half naked hedons distracting the poor guy with pole dancing. Which gets back to our very first point: if there's any progress, Trey Parker and Matt Stone will be consulted for some of these things.

OS, 10: 47. Les Miles unidiots himself for a minute and challenges the call. It'll likely be overturned, which will give LSU the ball back--yup. Reversed.

OS, 10:50. I have other sponsors for the Sugar Bowl:

RU-840: The Pill For the Party Girl in You!

Glock Firearms: Keeping America Awesome.

Haitian Board of Tourism: Like Jamaica, But Constantly Burning.

PB, 10:53: Les Miles is the fakester genius! Wooo fakes!

OS, 10:54: That totally never works in NCAA 2007.

PB, 10:55: Only works in BCS games, Orson. Only when the 'Cinderella' story is in play. I like that LSU is pulling out all the stops to try to unseat Goliath here.

OS, 10:59: More sponsors that should be in this bowl:

Blood-out Stain Remover: For When You Can't Wash Blood Out Of Something.

Marlboro's Tastee-Adult-Chew-Sticks. "You definitely shouldn't light them and inhale the fragrant smoke, which would be harmful!"

Papa Doux's Tumor-off. "When dat dere bayou tumor is a pest, let Papa Doux's give it a rest!"

PB, 10:03: In other surprising news, Charlie Weis thinks his son will be the world's most successful person ever.

OS, 11:07: We've gone all night without mentioning him, but it's time. We bet the Rock-em Sock-em guys just digitally inserted the image of those robots onto the hulking, smoking frame of Ed Orgeron leaving the gym in Oxford. They also inserted the truck, which the Orgeron would have mounted, mated with successfully, and then reduced to splinters with his mighty fists.

OS, 11:17 p.m.: LSU goes to 27-17 with a FG. Trev from Fire Mark May suggests we raise the ND Nation suicide watch to:

PB, 11:18: Can we get Boise State in here for the 4th quarter?

OS, 11:28: Just when you thought the third quarter was gong to peter out...Jamarcus again flips the ball off his back foot 58 yards or so to Early Doucet on a huge old nine route the two called with waves and yells over the Superdome crowd. Jamarcus Russell went to the sideline to refresh himself with a cold tankard of elephant blood and a side of braised whale, his customary snack.

PB, 11:30: With each unanswered LSU score, the odds of Elightenment Era jokes popping up around here increase exponentially.

PB, 11:31: Third quarter liveblog ends. Onward to the final stanza.