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COACHES' POLL: GATORS AT 2

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An early return, sure, but a positive sign in the despicable stumping process currently determining the National Championship: Florida's at 2, Michigan at 3 in the coaches' poll.

Fortunately, our consultants we hired at the last second really paid off. It was hard finding that much innocent virgin blood at the last second--especially in Atlanta--but all that scrambling to pay our lobbyist looks like it might be paying off for us. We wouldn't want to influence the voting or public opinion, since the whole system's an atrocity of logic anyway...though we would remind you that a vote for Michigan is a vote against the troops. Kirk Herbstreit, why do you hate America?

Do not question this unassailable logic, or we will be forced to point. Three minutes of looking at the picture below while playing our second victory song of the day will convince you of our wisdom. Look in his eyes, what do you see? A fake punt on his own 15, bitches.

MP3 File


Only you can set you free. But shameless politicking will get you into the BCS game.