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Following in the footsteps of Liberty City Warriors coach Luther Campbell, rock and roll's moll king Lemmy Kilmeister has entered the realm of youth sports patronage: Motorhead will sponsor an under-ten youth soccer team in England. Deathless Deathful prose follows:

"I knew Lemmy years ago and for him, I think the thought of a football team running out with the Motorhead logo made him chuckle a bit, so that's where it's come from."

He is hoping the deal will improve the team's performance.

He added: "The hope is that we can go out on the football pitch and terrorise the opponents and come away worthy winners."

Watching yellow-carded youngsters reply by pulling an ace of spades from their back pockets and headbanging their way off the field...that's mentorship, baby.

For that perverse and generous act, we nominate our second mustache of the day, repeat winner Lemmy Kilmister. This song will make you shit your pants with glee and rage--that is if you don't immediately commandeer an old P-38 and immediately begin strafing the hell out of anything that moves after hearing it.

Trick question, shithead: Lemmy IS god.