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LAISSEZ LES MAL TEMPS ROULEZ! LSU/UF TALK WITH TIGERSMACK

Dave from TigerSmack stops by to answer our questions, which we so tastefully constructed as to not include a single reference to corndogs, voodoo, or Hurricane Katrina. (We leave that to our commenters, who will surely get to all three in the first six comments. Bravo!)

In our discussion we discuss which food group Les Miles belongs to, his need for a better hat, Jamarcus Russell's ability to throw football's through human flesh, and a grown man who insists on calling himself Jimbo. Enjoy.

1. Les Miles: a calorie-free coach, or just oiling theparts of the finely tuned Saban machine while he strokes out in Miami? He kept the DC, the OC, tons of coaches...we'd be surprised if he actually changed the nameplate on his office door, since plausibly he could just tell people Nick stepped out for a second after a bad loss. What's this guy's contribution to the team?

The jury's still out on Les Miles, but my take is that he's a 2nd tier coach being carried by Nick Saban's recruits and two world-class coordinators. Most of us who spend entirely too much time paying attention to LSU football have reached the conclusion that Miles doesn't get involved with the defense but that there's a bit of a power struggle going on between Les and Jimbo Fisher for control of the offense. Les would clearly like to go old school and run the ball up the middle two out of every three downs, and Jimbo is a little more imaginative. For instance, the Auburn game, where it became clear quite early that LSU couldn't run the ball, yet LSU kept trying to run the ball until late in the game: that was all Les.


Les Miles: wrote all of Little Wayne's new album. Totally true.

There's two ways Les' tenure can go at LSU. He can do a DiNardo, where he has a few good years and then it all goes to hell. Or he can take advantage of the incredible situation that fell into his lap, improve with experience, and become a really good coach. If I were going to bet, I'd go with the former, but I'll keep hoping for the latter.

2. 3 points versus Auburn? 3? We repeat two questions: what the hell is the Jimbo Fisher's offensive philosophy, and why does this grown man who makes lost of money insist on being called Jimbo?

Mostly answered in previous question. Jimbo, left alone, would open the offense up a lot more than you've seen so far. There are indications (Tulane & Moo State games) that things may be shifting in that direction.

Maybe the Auburn thing woke Miles up a little. As for the name? Prolly has something to do with growing up in West Virginny.

3. Jamarcus Russell: does he get animal feed and hormone shots five meals a day? We refuse to believe a human being can be that big and still play qb like he does. What are his strengths, and what are his weaknesses?

Russell's Strengths: a) can throw a football 100 yards while handcuffed and hanging upside down by a burning rope over a pool of hungry sharks. b) somewhat hard to tackle c) supremely confident, doesn't mind pressure situations. Russell's Weaknesses: a) He's slowwwwwww b) Questionable decision making skills, although it has improved a bit since last year. c) sometimes throws balls too hard to be caught, although this has also improved.


Hey, you! Brace yourself.

4. We've never been to Baton Rouge for a game, but imagine the tailgating food is Cajun dreamy. Describe two or three mouthwatering dishes for us.

Honestly, I think that's more hype than reality. Sure, there are a handful of tailgaters who cook up all sorts of crazy gourmet Cajun & Creole delicacies on gameday (and the tv cameras always seem to find them), but mostly it's simple, traditional stuff like sausage and chicken and burgers. And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. The one "Louisiana" food you might see a lot of would be jambalaya, just because it's cheap and easy to make in large quantities. To be quite honest, it's too hot down here for all that shit anyway, at least for the first few home games. For September and the first half of October, tailgating temperature hangs between 85 and 95, and really humid. Who the hell wants to stand outside in that and eat greasy food that's spicy enough to make you sweat? Not I, sir. If we're going to eat good, authentic Louisiana food, most of us will do it either before we get to campus or after we leave.

But don't let that deter you from coming down for a game. We can show you lots of great places to eat, drink, and be merry. Or if not merry, at least full and sporting a good buzz, which is the next best thing. Hell, if you bring cigars and Crown Special Reserve, I'll cook you up something myself.


In '07, count on EDSBS in Baton Rouge. We'll be the one with the Mardi Gras mask on.

5. You've played a breezy schedule with the exception of the Auburn game thus far. Where's the trajectory of LSU taking them at this point?

This weekend will answer that question with some degree of certainty, as a loss would all but knock us out of contention for a BCS bowl. If LSU beats Florida, I suspect they'll finish the season 10-2. Even though the Gators are the toughest team left on the schedule, they're likely to have a bad day against someone, probably Tennessee or Bama. If they lose to Florida, I suspect they'll also lose to Tennessee, and finish 9-3. Worst case scenario, given the talent LSU has, would be 8-4. Anything worse than that would have to raise serious red flags about the direction Les is taking the team, because this bunch should be able to win 8 or 9 games on autopilot.

6. Who would you trade for on the Gators roster?

Hell, most of us would trade a close relative for someone who could return punts and kickoffs. We are teh succ in that aspect of the game. You got anyone who can do that?

7. Conversely, who would you never, ever, trade to us?

Jamarcus Russell.

8. How's the waiting list behind Russell doing? Including the greatest quarterback named Ryan Perriloux ever, the famous Ryan Perriloux?

Rumor is that he's got his undies all in a bunch about his lack of playing time vs. the cupcakes we've played. He's pretty much be put in for the last drive or two in each game to hand the ball off and run the clock out. The few times he's been allowed to run or pass, he's looked less than impressive. If Jamarcus goes pro this year, I think he'll be able to beat out Matt Flynn for the job next season. He's going to be a good one when his time comes.

9. Final score, please:

21-17. Heh.

Much thanks to Dave for stopping by. We hope his team, whom we respect on the 364 other days of the year, falls into an open sewer and dies on Saturday. Be sure to check out his fine work, including the always funny Les Miles Hat Challenge, at TigerSmack.com.