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LOU HOLTZ IS VERY, VERY OLD.

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In case you don't know it, Lou Holtz is very, very old. He's not quite Joe Paterno old--for example, Lou Holtz doesn't have his discarded Manchu topknot from Boxer Rebellion in a shoebox underneath his bed for memory's sake--but he is old enough to be the kind of guy who leaves his car open because, well, fuck it, it's just an old man car.