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All right, we're playing USC in L.A. on Saturday. Yup. USC: Destroyer of worlds, imploder of football powerhouses, screaming badass carrying an M-60 down the street like John Matrix. That USC. Rules one, two, and three are:

-Don't give them any bulletin board material.

-Bulletin board material? Refrain from giving them any.

-And and all communications which may be construed as "smack," "trash talk," or "pieces of verbiage which may be tacked onto the wall of the lockerroom and used for motivational purposes"...well, keep them to yourselves.

-And...oh, you have something to say starting cornerback Andre Jones? (HT: The Wiz.)

"When we beat USC, this is going to slingshot our whole season," said the junior college transfer from Naples, Fla. "We're ready to go in there and show the world that Nebraska's back on top - that the order is restored."

Perhaps we should review points one through three, Andre. See...

Fearless Leader Comrade Callahan cannot be pleased. Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!