Joe Paterno? The hardest of the hard, according to Losers With Socks:
Few know of his elaborate tastes, however. JoePa reportedly has an insatiable appetite for Italian race cars, quality mescaline, and classy amateur porn. Before his untimely death, Eazy-E was once quoted as saying that JoePa "could snort more blow than a Peruvian army." He is an avid collector of hot tubs.
Check out the other "Mickey Rourke-hard" members of the list here.
We're pretty sure Rich Brooks would qualify somewhere around "Christopher Lowell"-hard.