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BIG 12: A GREAT CONFERENCE, OR NICKNAME FOR PETER NORTH

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A quick dodge through the Da Shi Er:

--Mack Brown's lost thirty pounds or so in the offseason, either as a direct result of the glee of winning a national championship or from sweating thinking about replacing the Football Overfiend at qb. They're making progress, evidently: Colt McCoy, he of the Jerry Bruckheimer name, may have the lead on the starting job for Texas.


"Hold the mayo, y'all."

--Also from the Houston Chronicle...anyone know a good cure for tendonitis? In their new spread attack, Baylor's gonna need it.

--Pirates are passe in Lubbock. This year's theme: Vikings. If anyone can be put in the hall of talking heads in jars after death, please let one of them be Leach. Future generations need to hear things like this:

Turns out he's half-Norwegian. Notes the NCAA's reformation on Native American symbols and wants to know when something's going to be done for Vikings.

"I think me and other Norwegians ought to unite," he says. "We're tired of being characterized as warriors. We dishonor all the lazy Vikings."

Not all his stuff is quite so esoteric. Sunday's topic with the team: a dysfunctional Connecticut family that included a mother who hired a hit man and a "Satan-worshipping" dad who ran off with the girlfriend of his 15-year-old son, who promptly took offense and ratted out his father to the feds.

"Actually," Harrell says, smiling, "that one was pretty interesting."

If we were a blue-chipper, there wouldn't be a question of where we were going. It would just be a matter of wearing an eyepatch or a horned helmet on signing day.


2006 means pirates vikings, people.

--Finally, Coach Fran is 425 words worth of excited about the new jerseys at Texas A and M. If you understand most of what this means, please self-revoke your testes possession license immediately:

“First, the 2006 jersey will feature a new cut, or pattern. The previous cordura jersey had a two-way stretch front and back mesh, and a stretch cordura insert that flowed almost seamlessly up both sides of the jersey and over the shoulders and sleeves. The 2006 jersey takes the cordura stretch-fit a step further, by starting the cordura on both sides of the jersey. Instead of flowing straight up the jersey, it moves to the back of the jersey and merges with the other side into a cordura main body.

Project Runway is calling Coach Fran's name. We totally support this idea as long as Tim Gunn comes over in a reality television exchange program and coaches the Aggies for a week.


Aggies, make it work!