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UT RECRUIT ALLEGEDLY IMPROVED GRADES WITH PENIS

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A University of Tennessee football recruit is the center of a probe--heh, probe--of a sexual misconduct case involving a Knox County employee, Assistant Principal Kimberly Kallenberg of Powell High School. The recruit, Joseph Lee Smith, has denied having sexual conduct with Kallenberg at any time during his time at Powell, where he was "a multisport standout" and starred on the football team at tight end (double heh) /defensive end. Kallenberg allegedly tampered with students' grades, as well.

If the allegations are true, then Joseph Lee Smith--fortunate to be a gifted athlete, since a name like that usually buys you a ticket straight to a multiple felony charge--may have improved his grades with his penis, a feat that deserves some sort of commendation or award. Most of us can only do the towel rack trick, and here he is converting Cs to As with it. Magic wand, indeed.

BTW, judging from the picture, Kallenberg must have a Clan of the Cave Bear thing. The Jondalar of Powell High School has enrolled at UT for Summer School, where he will be allowed to screw easy grades out of the faculty without dropping his pants.


Well, Linda Bensel-Myers is off the potential date list.