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Terry Hoeppner had a busy year: taking over the most difficult gig in the Big Ten, getting a program together out of the proverbial ashes, and having a tumor removed from his brain and not dying. Besides that, not much going on in the Hoeppner household. (HT: Ben Maller. )

Hoeppner has had to curtail his schedule a bit, since undergoing "proton therapy" does really take it out of you. ("Proton therapy" has not given him any superpowers, unfortunately, which would really help with the Indiana job. In combination with the surgery, though, it did play a large role in saving his life, so it's got that going for it.) Despite having a tumor removed from his head, undergoing 33 sessions of treatment, and being so enfeebled by the experience he couldn't drive or lift more than ten pounds for a time, Hoeppner missed a grand total of four days of work.

You may return to the weak, lazy endeavor you call life now.

Proton man says you are weak and must lift MORE weight and MORE reps.