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TEN THINGS WE'D LIKE TO HEAR BRENT MUSBERGER SAY

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Following up on a conversation we had with Stranko last night--soon to be encased in the upcoming podcast, should the hamsters powering the MP3 encoder ever finish their work--we present the ten things we'd like to hear Brent Musberger say.

Ten Things We'd Like To Hear Brent Musberger Say.

10. "You're looking live...at my fat white ass! (shaking exposed buttocks) Jiggledy jiggledy doo, America!"

9. Gary Danielson: That's just the kind of linebacker he is, Brent. Hits 'em hard, and likes to hit'em from all sides, but especially from behind.

Brent: "My kind of man, Gary. My kind of man."

8. "He's hit, and he's on his back like Phyllis George!!!"

7. "There's that man again. The one with the sweet, sweet cheeks."

6. "And if he's not gone for a touchdown, I'm buying a round of Hamm's Ice for the house tonight."


Brent, we toast you. Now say these things on air and we'll love you forever.

5. "Down to my buddy JACKARROOOOOO!!! Who is totally homosexual, everyone."

4. "Bukkake!"

3. "And back to the studio to talk to our old buddy, Terry Bowden. Terry...Are we off? Great. Help me unhook this bro...jesus, good to let the old bags breathe. That mike's not off, is it? (Plunges over rail to death.)

2. "I haven't seen a display of scoring like this since Irv Cross and I went through a stable of hookers before a preseason game in Miami in '81. A fine city, Miami."

1. "The Florida guys are cranking out the pushups after the touchdown, their cut muscles gleaming in the sun. And 15,000 red-blooded gay men just sent their applications in to the University of Florida, pardner."