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UGA CRACKS DOWN ON RAMPANT TAILGATERY

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UGA, tired of seeing its pristine lawns churned into muddy flats on gameday weekends, has prohibited all access for tailgaters before 7 a.m. on gamedays. The rules change resulted largely from the damage done by fans following last year's Auburn-UGA game; given the outcome (a last-minute nutpunch of a loss for UGA,) the university should be happy with the fact that the stadium wasn't torn down by hand.

The inevitable result of the restrictions will be a guerilla war between UGA officials and non-RV tailgaters (who park in a designated lot starting at 7 p.m. on Friday night at Athens.) It also means more havoc for the surrounding environs in Athens, which will bear the brunt of increased parking on their lawns and total strangers firing up Webers on their lawns. (Predicting spectacular, perhaps murderous incidents involving guns and lighter fluid. Bet on it)

Though the policy makes plenty of sense in many ways, here's one twist we don't get, taken directly from the rules as set by the now radioactively unpopular university president Michael Adams:

The new game day operations policy calls for family-friendly tailgate zones, where alcohol is prohibited.

Alcohol-free=family friendly? Maybe in Utah, but alcohol in the south is what binds families to each other, along with will agreements, guilt, and criminal histories. It's what allows one generation to tolerate the next, and what turns otherwise mundane, casserole-festooned family get-togethers into events you'll remember for years...from the inside of the Grundy County jail. Most idiotically, UGA is denying alcohol consumption to those who need it most: parents. For this alone, the policy will surely become a rank disaster.

Paul's got his UGA perspective on Deacon Adams' prohibitions here.


Mom and Dad need scotch.