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OMG U OF N TE GETS DUI 4RL ROFL

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A return to greatness may be afoot in Nebraska, if the halcyon days of the mid-90s were any indication. Nebraska TE Justin Tomerlin was huskerdoodled his way into a DUI early Sunday morning in Lincoln. The charge sounds chintzy to us, since Tomerlin only blew a 0.11 and was pulled over for changing lanes three times in a row without signalling. This describes every other driver on the road in Tampa, Florida at any given moment, and they seem to be doing fine on the roads down there.

The pros know, though, that Ohio's where it's at for black belt drunk driving.

Fulmer points assessed: 2 for weakass DUI charge. Didn't drive through anyone's yard and therefore doesn't approach the complete neglect for human life of the "Billy Joel" degree of DUI. Also didn't say anything like, "Do you know who I am?" Nebraska's on the board, though! Gampai!

Just ask DMX: DUI's no big deal. It's that impersonating a federal agent charge that gets ya.