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Suntan lotion hater, former mediocre head coach, and now cable television demotee? This could describe Bob Davie, who may be demoted from his spot on ESPN calling foot-bawl games with the grand old man of the college game Ron Franklin if this column by Michael Hiestand is onto something. ESPN won't call it demoted, of course, but Davie didn't really contribute anything past the average patter opposite Franklin, which is kind of like saying you had Norm Chow as your offensive coordinator for three years and never broke .500. Here's hoping Sean McDonough and Bob Davie get the Pam Ward detail next fall, with McDonough, inches away from on-air suicide, sullenly calling the number 3 Big Ten slot on ESPN 2 while Davie intones "he just makes footbawl plays, Sean" for the fifteenth time that night. We've got money on McDonough leaping headfirst from the booth before week six if that happens--takers?

This also means that ESPN now becomes the sole owners of Blackledge's wicked Spurrier imitation, which is enough to all but guarantee a primo slot covering SEC games not claimed by CBS.

Sunscreen, Skeletor. Please.